"No! I want to play!"




Saying “no” is so common to be seen in toddlers, especially at the age between 2 and 3. Recently, we have a toddler who is about 2 and half, not cooperating with the given instructions , particularly in cleaning time or outdoor playing time. He starts with saying no, then running away and ends up with screams and crying. His behavior is totally understandable and fits the profile of a toddler. However, it does disrupt the group setting at the daycare and sometimes even affects the routines. For example, when he has a meltdown before getting soccer shots, it becomes a challenge for the teacher who works by herself with 8 children, taking them to a shared washroom and assisting them putting on their outdoor shoes and jackets, even muddy buddies. It happens frequently and makes the teacher very set and frustrated.

It could be exhausting for a teacher dealing with a child with tantrums while keeping an eye on other children. So, usually, I will put the crying and screaming child on the carpet, a safe space, and give him/her a few minutes to let the big emotions out. Then, we go over what happened and what caused the anger and I offer possible solutions and other options. This very first step can help them express their emotions as well as prevent escalation. The point is to keep the words clear and short. Guide them the actions while giving the instructions and do not give in. Let's say they refuse to clean up the toys. I usually give them the empty bin, and stay with them and model the desired behavior. Once they start putting the toys away, I also help out as support.




Recognizing their improvement is also significant. I remember Child W is currently at the stage of saying “no .” One day just after we went down the ratio and combined, I saw him playing with a Ukulele, screaming and jumping up and down. He stopped right away and looked at me, saying no scream. I responded” yes, I am glad you remembered. But when we combine, we only play table time, right?” “I want to play guitar,” said Child W. “Well, you can play with the guitar for 2 minutes. You need to sit down on the carpet , not run around in the classroom. I am going to close another classroom. When I come back, you can give the guitar back to me. ""okay!" A few minutes later, "Agnes, I am done with the guitar. You can put it up!" Child W handed it over to me." Thank you! I am so happy you kept your promise!" I gave Child W a big bug.




To be honest, it could be exhausting working with little friends since it requires intensive attention. Especially, I believe positive behavior comes from praising the efforts. Sometimes I have to wait for a while to seize that moment so I can reinforce their self-regulations. It is a journey, never ends but is worth the wait .

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