The importance of consistency in an age of 3 to 5  group room

To young children, consistency in managing behavior helps young children to develop a sense of responsibility and accountability. It tells young children the boundaries and expectations on what is acceptable and what is not in the group setting. 

The common misbehaviors are having temper tantrums, pushing, biting, fighting for their turns, or interrupting the discussions or plays among the peers. Finding the cause of their misbehavior surly is essential. However, taking action and being consistent in managing these inappropriate behaviors are more powerful and just words. Here are some approaches I consistently use to handle these situations. 

1. Stop the wrongdoing

Let’s say Child A and Child L are pushing each other. Instead of saying “what happened,” I always say “stop” first. Then, I take them on the side, asking them what happened or finding out what caused the fight. For young children, they are still developing verbal communication skills. When they feel their points cannot be crossed or their needs cannot be fulfilled, they tend to use their body to respond in the conflicts. Since they cannot control their impulse at that moment and lose their patience, giving them a clear instruction as “stop” is not only like a “pause,” but also prevents further conflicts. 

2.  Listen to both of the sides and encourage them to tell you the details

Encouraging young children to tell you the details is one of the significant keys to facilitate them  expressing themselves. I usually prompt some vocabulary and try to elicit as much as details from the little one. Moreover, they feel their voice has been heard and valued, which enhances further communication skills. 

3. Give the little one a few minutes as alone time while having an unreasonable temper tantrum 

Young children might have a temper tantrum for various reasons. When it becomes unreasonable with loud screaming and crying, I usually give them a few minutes “alone time” in a safe place with my supervision. For example, child L grabbed a toy from a friend’s hand and caused the flight. I usually interfere in the dispute and quickly find out what happened. Let’s say Child L refused to give it back to the friend and started screaming and crying. I would have Child L sit on the carpet near me, having a few minutes of “ alone time” under my supervision and then talk to her once she calms down. Acknowledging young children’s frustration absolutely builds trust and understanding. However, young children need more practice on how to regain control of their emotions. “Alone time” provides them a safe space to reduce their excessive anger or frustration before readdressing the issue.

4. Always go back to discuss the possible solutions to resolve the problem after the little one has a calm body

I always talk to my little friends about the issue, provide clear instructions or discuss possible solutions once they feel better. For example, tell them they can play with other toys while waiting for their turn or asking if the other friends can share the toys. Instead of just providing the “answers,” I usually ask them what they say or what they do to resolve the conflict. More often, young children need language structure support. I usually help them to refine the sentences or reconstructure their words. That also benefits their further social interactions, especially in effective communications. 

 

To be honest, it also challenges a teacher or educator’s patience, energy and endurance to maintain consistency in managing young children’s behaviors. However, I do strongly believe all children deserve the opportunities to grow in a supportive environment, which includes love and discipline. I always give my little one hugs after we resolve the issue so they know they are supported and cared for while learning from mistakes.