Recently, I was listening to a lecture called "Building Personal Resilience: Managing Anxiety and Mental Health" by Dr. Luana Marques, a Harvard Medical School professor, author, and clinical psychologist. One point that really stood out to me was about the importance of brainstorming multiple possible solutions. It struck me because I often find myself locked into just one workable answer after identifying a problem. That’s because when I’m caught up in the busyness of the day, constantly on the floor working with children, I have to handle the situation quickly and move on.
However, this lecture really made me reflect: is it really fair to offer my little friends just one path forward?
Take Child W, for example. He's two and a half and currently going through potty training. Considering his age, he’s doing great—he can hold it for about an hour, goes on the regular washroom breaks with the group and occationaly asks to go to the washroom. But accidents still happen, especially during the stretch after the second snack time until pickup, which is about an hour and a half.
I have come up with three possible ways to support him and reduce accidents.
Encourage him to let us know when he needs to go
Regularly ask him if he needs to go
Take him for a scheduled washroom break around 4:15 or 4:20
While the first two approaches are ideal, they often didn’t work due to his developmental stage—he’s still learning to connect those internal cues with action. The third option, a scheduled break, seemed promising but came with its own challenge: he didn’t want to leave playtime.
I realized he was worried about losing his toys or missing out. So, I gave him two choices:
He could come back and play with a different toy.
I could keep the toy he was playing with on the teacher’s counter so no one else could take it.
This small shift—offering options—completely changed the dynamic. Not only did it work for him, but other children responded positively to it too. They felt seen, respected, and empowered to make their own decisions.
This experience reminded me how valuable it is to keep options open, even when the situation feels constrained. Brainstorming—even if the ideas initially seem impractical—gives us a broader perspective and, more importantly, honors the child’s voice and needs.
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